I remember the 1st time I took note of the majesty of food - I bit into that apple and I was overwhelmed with gratitude that I literally cried. I sat there in tears looking closely at the apple I was eating, and took note of what a miracle it was, what a raw and utter gift it was. It was so real, and so magic. It overwhelmed me; it took my breath away. Food has always been a staple for me in my spiritual evolution, I learn so much from it, and I have always had a deep appreciation and connection to it. I’m fascinated that what shows up on my dinner plate had a story to tell, had a life to life. It leaves an impact, an energetic footprint. I’m fascinated by the foods, like a beet, that started a mere seed and were plummeted into the dark ground, at which point the seed totally deconstructs and starts on it’s new journey – the journey to become the beet, and then the nourishment for my liver, and the teacher to my soul.
I have pondered the moon many times and each time it cracks open my heart and whisks my breathe away and I am left feeling humbled and on purpose and in awe at the force that makes this life tick-tock. The moon and her cycles humble me, she is like a divine clock and she has such a huge influence over so much. She is the Mother. And the best part? “Science doesn’t know” – we don’t know, we can’t prove this sort of magic. We don’t know why it effects our moods, and we are not to sure why women who are not on the pill synch up to the moon. We can certainly see it, we can feel it, but it’s beyond our ability to quantify. That’s my fav, it’s like a little secret, and you have to be still to hear it.
I feel the same overwhelming, heart stopping gratitude when I think about my tribe - the people in my life, the journey we have all been on together - how far we have all come, the heart breaks we have all overcome, the finish lines we have shed blood sweat and tears to get to, the open arms catching each other as we fall, and as we soar... I get overwhelmed when I watch people be PEOPLE and get real and authentic and jump into life with 2 feet. I’ve seen my tribe mates go through breakups, to pregnancies, to marriage, to infertility, to the loss of a loved one, to the completion of school and courses and races and tough mudders – it’s always an honor to be there, to witness what this human experience is like for another fellow human being. My favorite part about the tribe I love – it keeps getting bigger, and its roots are getting deeper – it’s an unexplainable humbling magic to me.
And then there’s LOVE - wow, LOVE blows it all out of the water. LOVE has taught me softness, trust, creativity, patience. LOVE is a force that scares me and calls me forward. Its grand, it stops my heart, it makes me feel so raw and so exposed, and yet so free and so encouraged... LOVE... I always loved love - but I had yet to KNOW love. I have 2 LOVE tattoos: 1 that says: “love wins” and the other that says “love is still the answer”. I knew I loved LOVE, but he had yet to truly alchemize my heart, he had yet to truly bust me open like a beet seed metamorphosizing (yes, it’s a word!) into a beet. LOVE has pushed me to show up in more authentic and open ways in the other arena’s of my life. LOVE scares me every day, its too vast to comprehend, it leaves me holding my heart and gasping for air. It leaves my humbled and very much ok with this moment, right here, right now. I didn't know love could be so huge that it takes my breath away and hurts, literally - hurts. Love is a physical feeling. It’s a risk. Its so intense. So scary. So wonderful. I have been to the depths of heartache and was afraid to ever try again - and now I can say:
THE RISK IS SO FUCKING WORTH IT.
Every day LOVE heals.
LOVE IS STILL THE ANSWER