november journal, entry {six}

I started my day with some real scarcity in my mindset -- what if I fail at a running a business? What if my book never goes anywhere? What if I don't get many clients for the next tele-course I am running? What if I can never be a fully contributing member in our household? How can I measure up? Will it always feel like a big question mark? Should I just quit and find a stable 9-5? When will it start to make sense? Will it ever make sense? Oh god... I'm almost 33 years old; what do I have to show for that? Life is passing me by, I better get on with it. Oh, whats the point of it all...

It's a spiral when that shit take ahold. Holy fuck it can feel like a true suffocation. 

So, I honoured it. I allowed all of the fear to bubble up and I journaled and cried and then remembered that these are all merely thoughts that are merely passing by and my job is to remain unattached to the outcome and fiercely true to my hearts calling. So I wiped my tears away, shut my journal, made some tea and sat in my office and spent 3 hours busting out the newest design of {a course in the ritual of self-care} tele-course and I feel really proud of the work I did today and really excited about this next tele-course. I also made elixirs and chocolate and oats and veggies and I am now about to eat chocolate and head to the stairs for a workout.

And that is how I applied my rituals to today's near melt down.